Escape from Never Land

You might be wondering what's with me and Never Land, anyway. And why did I leave that place.

If you've been to this blog like maybe three (3) years ago, everything you would see are melodramatic posts making a big deal out of something small, ie. a stucked takyan.

In my younger years, I never liked anything.
I didn't like people. The moment I consider someone special, they leave. Just like that. So I made it a point never to get too attached to anyone.
I didn't even liked life. It's bland and problematic. I didn't like responsibilities. I just want to escape from it all.

I spent most of my days daydreaming, thinking of the life I wanted to have. That's when I created my haven - an imaginary world where I get to control everything.
I get to decide whatever happens. I get to choose who's included and who's not. If there are any problems, I made sure they already have a planned solution. Everything would go according to plan. That's how it works in my own little world. This, my friends, is what I call Never Land.

I was so engrossed with Never Land that it has slowly become my reality. Never Land eventually came in the form of dreams. When Peter Pan first visited me, I wished it was a dream with no end. How I wanted it to last forever.

Then college came.

I met different people and even made new friends. I was still hesitant of getting close to them for the fear of getting left alone again. I told a few of my insecurities and how I didn't want to get close to anyone. But what I didn't realize is that I was actually opening myself more. I slowly accepted the fact that people come and go. I just have to choose who's worth keeping.

College also made me pretty busy. I got busy. Lot of stuffs to study, projects to make and deadlines to meet.

College made me remember about life. And life made me think of who and what I really am.

Despite all the busyness and pressure, I actually enjoyed it. Working with my classmates and friends in solving problems, celebrating successes and failures - I learned to enjoy them all. I started to enjoy life.

I rarely visit Never Land now. I was too occupied with school work and I was actually hanging out with real people. Never Land slowly faded and Peter Pan never visited me in my dreams again.

Reality is too different from my "perfect" Never Land.
Reality is so much better.

In Never Land, I cook. In reality, I code.
In Never Land, every problem already has a solution. In reality, every struggle is a means of working with our loved ones together and a step towards becoming someone stronger and better.
In Never Land, I get to decide what happens on this day. In reality, every day is something to look forward to.
In Never Land, I've already seen it all. In reality, there are still so much to see and experience.

I then realized it wasn't my responsibilities or the realities of life I had to escape from. I had to escape from the imaginary world I was living in to actually live the life God has blessed me.

In life, I stumbled and fall but I learned to get back up. I fell in love, hurt people and got hurt myself. I made mistakes and learned from them. I experienced happiness and sadness.. every emotion which makes me who I am today.

My journey has become even more meaningful now that I have my dear SO and my lovely daughter.

The reality I am living now has so much to offer.

Enjoy life. There are still many places to visit, food to eat, experiences to share, memories to make and love to give.

Live. Laugh. Love. ♥

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